Since my last post, I talked a little (an understatement) about my life so far. Based on Oliver-a-few-weeks-ago, I'm supposed to talk about "learning to let go". Currently, I cannot really remember what I wanted to say back then. But well, I see a blurry picture ahead.

Perhaps I wanted to talk about relationships with people. Or maybe the way things happen - that current circumstances don't stay forever.

With regards to people. I would say that I have indeed met with quite a lot of people this year,  be it colleagues, superiors or even people under my charge. I guess I took quite a lot of effort to know these people and forge friendships with them. However, before you know it, that someone you know has to leave.

Kinda of sad to say, people come and go. Life isn't static. Everyone has to go somewhere somehow. Not because the place sucks or that the grass is greener on the other side but rather that's their life. Everyone has to move on with their lives. Staying at the same spot doesn't make you go anywhere further into life.

That applies to my role as a trainer to each group of people who were once under my charge. (Okay, I think I'm getting it why the title of this post is about learning to let go.) As a trainer, my role is to train people the fundamentals that they need in order for them to move onto their next phase of training or work. Each course I take lasts 2-3 months. In these 2-3 months, I would definitely know them much better than before and before you know it, they are going to graduate and move on to their next stage of their National Service. And as for me, my next group of people under my charge has arrived and the cycle continues.

That 2-3 months, I would say, makes or breaks depending on much effort and time you are willing to put into knowing these people. My belief is that as a section commander, I make a effort to know each and every individual under my charge, get to know them and train them to become a better person, on top of just being a soldier. It's really a good feeling when the people you train are able to perform outstandingly during the course and you know that your efforts didn't go to waste when your aim of having a bonded section better than what they initially were is achieved. All the time, "blood" and sweat you put into just to make sure that each individual in the section grows to be a better soldier, a better leader and on top of that, a better person; the commitment, dedication and passion that fuels you throughout the course finally bore fruits. It's definitely satisfying and rewarding when you finally see your guys graduate on the parade square.

Now, everything seem so smoothly and I would say what obstacles a trainer would face would be when the next cycle begins. It didn't come upon me until I read a journal entry from one of my cadet and that was about learning to let go. Sometimes, we get too absorbed into what we have achieved thus far that we may fail to recognise that we have too high expectations of our surroundings afterwards or perhaps we haven't got clear of the current situation yet. As such, we fail to recognise that everything begins all over again. Let me illustrate. For instance, having achieved high during one national exam doesn't mean you will be good from there onwards and that you will perform for the next national exam. Having got into a good school now doesn't guarantee you to the next. Everything resets and starts all over again. Yes, you may have achieved greatness but the key word is "achieved", which refers to the past. The past achievements may be a great motivator to push you to further greatness but being too indulged into it may prove to be detrimental. How so? From realism to idealism, from humility to pride.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say that we should just forget about the past and move on, for the past affects the present and more importantly, the present affects the future. It's about the balance. Knowing how to harness and appreciate the past greatness to help you in the present instead of over-indulging in past glory.

Alright, much of concepts and explanations, so how does this link to my role as a trainer?  One batch of achievements doesn't guarantee the next. Looking too much into one batch's achievement may make you unrealistic as a leader and have overwhelming expectations of the next. On top of that, holding on to the past achievements of the previous cadets may mean no more room for the next. To sum it up, that means living in the past and get stuck in there.

What my cadet wrote to me was to learn to let go. I once explained to his batch during my "Care for Soldiers" lesson that caring for soldiers is similar to flying a kite. You need to have balance, learn to give and take, like how you tighten or loosen the string attached to the kite in order for it to fly high. I was taken by surprise when he was able to use my kite example to teach me about learning to let go. He mentioned that I can't be flying that same kite forever and I need to learn to let go. Remember that every time you fly a kite, ensure that it flies high. (Paraphrased - I will quote from his journal entry once I have it).

So here's my learning point: 

 Having a batch of trainees under me can be likened to flying a kite. In order to let it fly high, we sometimes tighten the string attached, sometimes giving it some slack in order for it to go higher. At the end of the day, with consistent focus, dedication and effort, the kite may fly high and perhaps even higher than it initially was. That is what every trainer should strive for and achieve. However, each trainer must not forget to realise that with stronger winds, the kite would fly even higher and that at the end of the day, learn to let go as every kite has its own destination to reach. What matters to a trainer is to ensure that every time he flies a kite, he trains to fly it high. Whether the kite reach that destination or not, it depends on whether the kite is able to harness the wind to reach its destination. Some may achieve it, some may not. But I believe those fallen kites would, in it's journey, meet with someone who would pick it up and improve that kite's dynamics and lead it on to fly even higher ahead.

Personally, there was a section under my charge which achieved greatness that made me proud, not just because they outshone the rest, but rather they didn't waste their potential which I believed in. That was a kite which flew high. That was a kite which I remember vividly how I controlled the tension to make it fly high and reach its potential. Now, every one in the section has moved on to their next stage of their life. Similarly, I moved on with mine, with another new kite. This time round, bearing in mind what my cadet told me, learn to let go and make sure that every kite I fly from then on is one which flies high.

That's something which I have been telling myself in my mind when I started leading this new group of cadets. To not see them as the previous section as every section is different, to not compare them, to not set higher expectations but to have an objective view of the section and believe in the section. It's been 10 weeks thus far and I believe it's going well for me. I would say that I've been quite lucky, for I see potential in this 10 cadets who I am currently leading, the potential to achieve greatness and become greater leaders and most importantly, better person in life. Hopefully, my aim for this section can be achieved like the previous one, achieve what they should and ought to because they have the potential in the first place.

To not say that being a trainer is not of growth is wrong. Who would have thought that I could learn this important value in life from a trainee who I have lead before? Learning is a lifelong process and learning takes place anywhere, from one to another, not necessarily top-down but rather a 2-way traffic instead. I believe that kite story applies not only to my time here in NS as an instructor or trainer, but in my future career as an educator.

In the next post - My Encounter as an Instructor/The 5 Levels of Leadership