At certain junctures of our lives, I believe there would be a time where one stops to reflect about life. Be it the past, the present or the future ahead, there's bound to be some learning points drawn which would be useful in our lives ahead.

Given my current NS, I've met with quite a lot of interesting people. This exposure have indeed made me learn more about people. Be it work relations, people management, handling relationships or self-discovery, the past few months of my life have made me learnt more as a person per se. Things don't go easy and changes are constantly coming head-on. Learning to survive in this urban jungle is an experience. An experience for me to begin to see how the real world is like outside. I hope you reading this will not take this as a negative comment. I would say it comes with a positive connotation instead.

Not too long ago, my batch of cadets have graduated and moved on to their respective units that they are posted to. The same goes for me, leading another batch of cadets and training them who they are ought to be till the end of the course. For the recent batch that graduated, I would say that it has been a successful course. Things started off well and were going on pretty smoothly and as a trainer, I believe they are quite on track. However, after the last high key event of the course, I could feel a change with the course's attitude towards me in general. Somehow or rather, I could feel that cold and bland atmosphere enveloping when I addressed to the course towards the end. Perhaps during the last high key event, my working style changed, to the extent where the cadets are not used to it. Given it was the outfield period, it was natural tendency for me to be stricter and more demanding of their standards. Having to cope with the force preparations day in and out could have made me impatient and agitated more easily. As such, interactions with the cadets were more hierarchical, probably. The change was too drastic I guess, as all along I am kind of the happy-go-lucky kind of trainer despite demanding standards from the course. It wasn't intended or on purpose, it just came along and I guess that caused a little misunderstanding along the way.

As a trainer, my trainees always came first and I have to admit that I felt a little sad and disappointed when I get the ostracised feeling from the course. I didn't want to address to the course as much or talk too much to the course because I was afraid. Afraid that addressing to them would make them have thoughts like "Here he goes again,"; "I can't wait for the RO to end,"; "Sgt Oliver is very naggy,"; "I'm bored, please hurry up your words." I do have last words for them, to tell them that the world out there isn't easy, and especially given their role and responsibilities, they need to always be on their toes and remember to persist and stay motivated in whatever they do. To not give up and continue to learn, take it as part of their life experience. But I held myself back because I get that rejected feeling. I passed on some last instructions and loose ends to another Spec to address to the course, not that I want to skive and push the work to others, but instead it would be more appropriate for the others to do the address and conduct the last RO. Honestly, that was demoralising. Even on the morning when the cadets took the bus back to SCS, I didn't want to go down and send them off, as much as I hope to. Seeing them board the bus from my bunk window and finally leave the parade square, I guess that was the best solution. Nevertheless, I sent an sms to each guy from my section, to let them know that I did see them off as they expected me to. So long since this happened, but it still haunts me at times. Slowly, I will learn to let go and move on.

What was heartwarming was that at least my guys from my section appreciated my efforts and hard work I have put in for this course. They had eyes to see what I was going through with all the work, which I don't need them to know. They understood from my point of view as a trainer and I'm glad for their maturity. There's a reason behind every single thing and instruction given. Of course, when life gets too comfortable and routine, people would be resisted against sudden change of instructions, which could actually be part of a norm in the first place. Then people would start to complain and such. These people need to grow up and learn to appreciate what they have. Oh well, I guess life's like this. If one fails to learn at one stage of life, I believe one would eventually understand it at some other stages of his life. Now that they have graduated, I believe one day they would experience what I have gone through and understand how is it like to be a Spec.


I would say the key learning point for me as a trainer here would be to have gradual change. Cadets cannot take it if changes are too sudden and they need to adapt. With the current course running, I guess gradually increasing expectations and standards would be a better approach. It shall be an experiment and I shall see how it goes.

Learning to let go -next post.