To one, music is pleasure and to another, music could be like the whole life of that person. How important is music to you? Do you play music? Or does music even play a part in your life in the first place?

Well, music used to be one of the highlights of my life. I played music and definitely loved those days when I sat in a band or an orchestra playing music. Currently, music is merely for my ear and soul pleasures and I have stopped playing music.

Personally, slow and emotional songs are the type of music I listen to nowadays. They serve the best company whenever I go out, board a train and go home. On some occasions, listening to such music really does bring out emotions and questions, questions about my life. I tend to be more reflective about my life and kept thinking about "What if" or "What could have happen if I had...". Typical essay questions for narratives you might say, but aren't these questions something that we should ponder about as we look back at our lives?

With regards to playing music, I've been exposed to that since primary school and I realised that I have been in the aesthetics for co-curricular activities all these while. Sometimes, I wonder how it feels like to be involved in sports activities or uniformed groups or even clubs and societies. They always seem like a mystery to me and I don't think I'll ever get a chance to experience such activities. Darn, perhaps I should have changed the co-curricular activities that I took part in primary school like every year so something. 6 years meant 6 different exposure to some co-curricular activities in school. However, there comes another question: Would I actually switch co-curricular activities every year if I'd developed the passion and love for one I'm already in? I might say no to the latter as commitment is a value which I hold on to if I really had the passion and love for it. [On a side note: However, in reality, skills is worth of more value compared to commitment or even experience. Take a look at jobs nowadays. How many people really stay fixed in a job throughout till retirement? Besides, employers are constantly looking for better skilled employees and out you go if you're worse-off, no matter how committed you can be. Well, perhaps that reality and we just have to accept what is given.]

Back to my point, playing music is an activity which has followed me since childhood. As a child, when I watched musicians performing on television, I was always in awe and I knew that it really takes skill to sit there playing music. Never did I knew that I could actually play music when I started to learn playing the flute. However, another point arises at that point: If you could play music, how well can you play then? That's a tricky one, really. But no matter what, I have this perception in me that there would always be people who play music better than you do. There's no need for a right or wrong but it's just how I personally feel.

Anyway, I feel that the most important thing is happiness. Feel happy in what I'm doing, like playing music and that's what really matters. While achievements do matter in the form of paper qualifications and what they call the "face" issue, the process of learning to play music is something which I feel should be cherished, for those would be everlasting memories that would most probably resurface when you look back at your life someday. Sadly, however, reality emphasise more on achievements instead.

As I looked back at those days when I was in band or chinese orchestra, it feels kind of foreign all of a sudden, perhaps due to a lack of contact. Looking back at the old photos and I'm remembered of the people I've met, the stories and ties established during that period of time. Currently, other than a few, I've lost in touch with most of the people I knew even though we may be friends on facebook. While we may be connected, we are not as bonded as before. How true is that, really. Honestly, it would be nice for everyone to meet each other again someday but I guess as everyone now lead a different life path, it's kind of tough to get everyone back together with the current pace of life that we have today.

Life is really unpredictable sometimes, like how it turned out for my so-called music "career". Never did I knew that I would join chinese orchestra again in JC and my band life just ended like that when I thought I would continue band for another 2 years. That turning point was one of difficult moments, with eyes from 2 different groups of people expressing different thoughts on you. It really gets unbearable and depressing sometimes. Trust me, you won't like that. During that period of time, the thought of leaving JC surfaced but I just had to push through. I thought that joining the chinese orchestra was only a short period of time (for SYF only) and I would join band after that but never did I expect that I stayed there throughout and graduated from the chinese orchestra. Well, it was also partly influenced by my decision (with friends' advice) and the troublesome process of switching programmes then. Nevertheless, I can say that I am happy to stay in the chinese orchestra actually. I don't know if things would remain like it was then if I join the band since the people in band whom I knew would have graduated by then. I could have been feeling worse-off and stressed if I did join the band, provided that the teacher-in-charge was kind and generous enough to accept a music player who she thinks is off the mark. Indeed, there are just too many what-ifs and I'm actually glad that all those struggles are over. I guess it was fate that I would end up joining and graduating from the chinese orchestra and meet wonderful people in Year 2. Most importantly, I felt happy and satisfied in Year 2 and I would say that that's the key. Who cared what your co-curricular activity was since your results are what matter eventually? As long as you had one co-curricular activity, contributed what you could and did your part, it's enough.

After year 2 in JC, I guess I shall not touch music for anytime soon. Sometimes, I feel that it's kind of ironic when music is supposed to make one relax and yet ends up causing one to stressed in the attempt to make it better. Okay, maybe I'm wrong and I don't know. Nevertheless, I still appreciate music today and even when I hear band or CO music, memories of "those were the days" flashes through my mind. I can only reflect about it and that's all, since I have to move on with my life and you too, it's time to move on.